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Wednesday, September 28, 2022

How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?

Q: Are there any proven treatments for low libido in women?

“Proof” is a powerful word – it makes scientists squeamish.But it’s safe to say there’s “very strong evidence” of increased libido through certain types of sex drive psychological intervention like cognitive behavioral therapy said Lori A. Brotto, a psychologist and professor at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver and a leading expert in women’s sexual health.

However, when it comes to drugs, things are different.

In recent years, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved two new drugs for women with low desire, “even though their efficacy is slightly better than placebo,” said Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau, a gynecologist at the University of Chicago School of Medicine and the therapy’s founder. woman laba website about sexual health.

The drugs flibanserin (a pill) and bremotide (an injection that is self-injected about 40 minutes before sexual activity) are approved for premenopausal women who have low libido and do not have any identifiable “very few women” Dr. Lindau Say, physical, mental or relationship problems. “They may have modest benefits, but they also have side effects and costs,” she added. “So far, coverage has been limited.”

In the end, the most beneficial solution will depend on why you experience low libido and why you think your libido is a problem.

Talk to your doctor to rule out any new health problems.

In older women, the loss of estrogen during menopause is often associated with changes in libido, as it can cause vaginal dryness and tightness, which can make intercourse painful. Some women also find it harder to wake up. When menopause is accompanied by hot flashes and night sweats, it can also make sex less appealing.

Untreated conditions like depression and anxiety can also cause problems with libido. However, some medications, including certain antidepressants, have been shown to negatively affect libido, arousal, and orgasm. Therefore, it is best to discuss all available options with your doctor.

Certain medical procedures may also reduce libido, for example, if a woman has her ovaries removed or estrogen is blocked to treat cancer.

“When possible, estrogen replacement may help with low libido in some women,” says Dr. Lindau, as can lubricants, exercise, and talking with a therapist.

hormones testosterone May also improve sexual function in postmenopausal women distressed by chronic loss of interest in sex, but limited data on its safety and efficacy.

Often, libido problems are not purely physical. Experts say that stress is one of the most common causes of decreased libido in women. Low libido can also stem from energy and sleep issues, body image, relationship quality, gender inequality, and other issues.

“I would encourage those who complain of low libido, and those who hear complaints, to think about all the effects that exist on desire, both within and beyond the body,” says Sari van Anders, a professor of sex and testosterone at Queen’s University in Ontario. . “Desires don’t just come from drives within us, they reflect and respond to a variety of life and social situations.”

Periodicals article Writing last year, Dr. Van Anders, Dr. Broto and others noted that four factors, all influenced by society’s expectations of women, contribute to women’s low libido in heterosexual relationships. They are an unfair division of chores, women tending to take on the role of caregiver-mother with their male partners, emphasizing a woman’s appearance rather than her own sexual pleasure – which makes her own desires feel dependent on her perceived desirability – and gender norms that influence which partner initiates sex. For example, women typically do not socialize to initiate sex or prioritize their own pleasure, and they may feel uncomfortable experiencing or initiating pleasure unrelated to penetrative intercourse.

The paper also notes that “low desire” can mean different things to different people. Some people want sex more than others, and it’s normal for libido to fluctuate over the years. Experts suggest asking yourself: Are you unhappy with the amount of sex you crave? If so, why?

“Low libido in itself is not a problem unless and until partners, health professionals, media and/or culture come together,” Dr. Van Anders said. “A promising way forward is to consider that low desire itself may reflect For those who are not asexual, this is a problem, not a problem in itself. “

For example, some women may be concerned not with their own lack of desire, but with a mismatch between their libido and their partner’s higher libido.

“If their different desires are causing problems in the relationship, then a couples therapy approach is warranted,” Dr. Broto said.

If therapy isn’t available — maybe you can’t find a therapist that’s available or affordable — then Dr. Broto recommends talking with your partner about planning to have sex when people with lower libidos are most willing to have sex, And increase the amount of sexual activity that does not involve penetration. These activities may be more likely to provide pleasure for those with less desire.

One more thing to keep in mind: Feeling like you’re not in the mood doesn’t necessarily mean you’re less lustful, or that your lust levels are in some way deficient. Not everyone experiences desire followed by awakening. Some people need to be awakened before they can experience desire.

“Libido has historically been equated with spontaneous libido — that sudden feeling of wanting to have sex,” Dr. Broto said. “It’s far less common than reactive desire — the kind that emerges after sexual contact begins.”

If you tend to feel the physical arousal first and the mental urge second, don’t just wait for the sudden urge to have sex.

Instead, set aside time for intimacy and be prepared to put yourself in the right frame of mind to physically connect with your partner. This might include taking time out of the day to think about sex, masturbate, listen to a playlist of music that makes you feel sexy, or watch a movie that excites you.

Discuss with your partner the different types of desires (spontaneous vs. responsive) and specific things that help you get into the mood. That way, your partner will also think about how to help you build feelings of desire, rather than jumping right in. The more you understand each other’s needs and respond to them, the better your sex life will become.

Finally, mindfulness—an exercise that helps you remember to return to the present when you’re distracted—is especially useful when you’re thinking about or engaging in sexual activity.

“Cultivating a focus on the present moment is important to give way to the brain-body connection of sexual response,” said Dr. Broto.

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